A Letter For "Age is a Privilege"

Wisdom and perspective from my friends and an unknown stranger

This week I completed my 38th trip around the sun and I’ve never felt so good about it. I like to spend my birthday doing some internal reflection on who I am, how I got to where I’m at, and what I want to do in the future. It’s a heat check moment for me.

So, I ventured out into the wilderness for a 24hr period, camped by myself, hiked a few trails, sat in some natural hot springs for a few hours, and then headed back home.

There was one core thought I kept coming back to that I had heard the previous weekend while also in a (different) hot spring.

That Saturday morning was a blustery spring day, a little cold, a little rainy and windy, but peaceful. I had come with my family and in-laws to spend the day relaxing and soaking up the mineral rich water from beneath the earth’s crust.

Being the connoisseur of hot-temp activities that I am, I found my way to the smallest and hottest pool after some family time in the main area. After a few minutes of being mostly alone, a pair of men entered the hot spring and sat across from me.

These were your classic, Middle-aged dads, decently fit and clearly there to relax with their families. They sat down and were talking about mountain biking and some new trails they'd like to explore this spring when the snow melts.

A few minutes after that a group of 3 women enter the hot spring—one older and two middle-aged, seemingly the daughters of the older woman. As they settled into the very hot water, making the usual observation about how hot it is in this bath/spring, the older woman pipes up, loud enough for all in the bath to hear (and trying to curry some sympathy from the crowd):

"This one is nice and hot, I need it because I'm so old. I just wish I wasn't getting so old. Getting old sucks.”

The middle-aged guy with dark hair and skin with a barrel chest responds almost immediately:

"You know, age is a privilege. It means you've gotten to spend a lot of time here on earth, and what could be better than that? My best friend's wife has stage 4 cancer and isn't going to live much longer. Every day is so valuable to her. I'd say she would disagree with you."

The way he responded was so quick and powerful, it froze everyone in place in that steaming hot water.

It was one of those moments where the person responding was intimately prepped and ready for the response because it’s been top of mind for them.

Maybe just recently he got a call or sat down with the best friend, and they shared the bad news of a worsening prognosis.

Maybe he'd spent some of his time that day at the hot springs contemplating and thinking about his friends’ wife and her perspective.

His response wasn't snarky either; if anything, it was incredibly gracious and delivered with true kindness and wisdom. I think it hit everyone, including myself, as this deeply grateful moment.

After a moment of taking in the profound words, the older woman replied:

"No, you're right. I'm 75, I'm grateful for every day."

She gave a quick smile his way and nodded, closed her eyes and tilted her head back, relaxed her shoulders and sank down into the hot water.

With love and deep appreciation,

Andrew